
About the Album
The Family Tree series is made up of four interconnected records.
The idea spawned from reading a pair of classics – “East of Eden” by Steinbeck and “100 Years of Solitude” by Garcia Marquez. I read them around the same time and I adored them both. Watching people's actions and family traits play out over multiple generations was fascinating to me. I thought about them for months afterwards. And then an idea struck me.
What would it be like to create a family saga in the medium of records?
This was back in 2008. The original plan was to create three short releases, maybe 7 or 8 songs a piece, that each represented a generation of a family. I assumed I’d spend about three years on the project. My estimation wasn’t even close. Once I started writing, it spiraled into an 8-year, 44-song behemoth.
I began by looking up genealogy charts, dating back about 200 years, and using the gaps in information to invent stories of who these people might have been. Since you’re often left with only birth and death records -- perhaps an obituary, if you are lucky -- there's plenty of space to speculate. I also wanted to incorporate magical realism, akin to what was woven throughout “100 Years of Solitude.” I’ve always loved small bits of fantasy or surrealism in stories.
I collected all my ideas into an assemblage of a family tree, borrowing from the visual diagrams I saw in those genealogy charts. Then the visuals gave me another idea. What if there were chord charts and harmonic choices related to the various branches? What if I treated components of music like genetics, letting them evolve a bit with each new family member? This concept was really exciting to me, and it gave the project a stronger sense of cohesion.
My last piece of organization was to show time passing via production choices. To implement this, I wrote a set of rules for each album. The Roots had five main songwriting tools: voices, piano, acoustic guitar, strings and small percussion. I wanted to focus on instruments that might have been in use around the time. The Branches introduced drums sets, electric guitars, and lots of metal sounds into the mix, hinting at the industrial revolution. And The Leaves allowed for synthesizers, drum machines and samples as a nod toward the modern age.
Between 2008 and 2010, I wrote over 60 songs for the project, sans lyrics. That felt overwhelming, so I whittled it down to about 40. I divided those tracks into the three main albums, and each record had a few songs that were written during the time of recording.
The Bastards is the exception. That record became a holding pen for the songs that were eventually removed from the main three albums. But not because I was unhappy with the results. I just couldn’t find a good spot for them in the track order and I like albums to have a certain flow.
The only major change that occurred over those eight years was during the recording of The Leaves. I’d been weaving personal stories into the series from the get-go, but never directly. I’ve historically written about my life in half-truths, or by removing all personal details so that the song is reduced to a general human experience. But events surrounding my family in 2015 were so overwhelming that I didn’t know what else to talk about and I started writing about where I personally come from. I had reserved most of the lyric writing until I was in the midst of recording each album, so the music on The Leaves had largely been sketched out, but the words had not.
So the saga came to a close in a very personal way, far smaller than intended. And instead of closure, I found myself just beginning to make sense of my own family tree. A road I only recently stopped wandering down so much, over a decade later.
Secrets (Cellar Door)
Moving on to the next generation, the album picks up with a young girl named Bella.
Bella is the daughter of Gabriel from "Southern Snow" and the granddaughter of Abigail from "The Dead Waltz." Like the rest of her bloodline, there was something unique about her. Something she kept secret from everyone, even her parents, though she suspected they knew. But there was someone she deeply wanted to tell. Her neighbor and best friend, a boy named Kyle.
Little did she know, Kyle had a secret of his own.
Kyle is the son of Frederick, from the song "The Crooked Kind", and like the rest of his family, he can hear his dead relatives. But unlike his father and uncle, he can also see them. Something mutated when the trait jumped to him. If he concentrated hard enough, he could even show other people by holding their hand.
In this song, the two kids get the courage to share their secrets with each other, something that bonds them for life.
Secrets (Cellar Door)
Drawn into the frost on the glass
Was a map pointing to my secret hiding place
It led you to the tree with the split in its trunk
On the way into your family's yard
In that tree you saw I'd brought the dog back to life
I watch you from the branches
While you stared from the ground
With a look I couldn't understand
So I said:
"Leave me alone, if your only words are ugly ones"
And you just smiled and said:
"Come and show me how it's done"
You dug up your old bird
And you held her to your chest
As I breathed life back into her lungs
And she blinked and flapped her wings
And she sang a familiar song
Before she took to the air
And cut a path into the woods
And then I cried, because all my life
I have known something was off
But you just shrugged and said:
"It ain't just you"
Slipping on the pavement where we ran
From the ghosts that you saw behind the cellar door
That's the way that you showed me that I wasn't quite alone
That you'd also touched the dead before
Rivers in the Dust
Bailey, from the song "Baptisms", is helping his best friend's wife move west.
Jim died the year before of cancer. He passed not long after the diagnosis and his wife was left maintaining a property she couldn't afford. The dustbowl was ravaging the Great Plains and the depression was in full-effect, so prospects were slim. Bailey also found himself out of work, so when Jim's window, Carmen, mentioned she planned on joining some family that had moved west years before, Bailey volunteered to travel with her.
Bailey was deeply lonely without Jim. He'd never made friends easy, the shame around his dyslexia often proving too tall of a hurdle. But he'd helped Carmen so much during Jim's illness that they'd come to know each other a little better.
Carmen didn't like having Bailey around at first. She'd only agreed to let him come west because she was afraid. After a lifetime of always seeing the two of them together, she couldn't look at Bailey without thinking of Jim, and the reminder was painful. But over the course of their travels, she started to see Bailey for himself, and he began seeing her as more than Jim's wife.
Their journey west transformed them in many ways. By the time they'd made it to California, Bailey asked if she would marry him and Carmen said yes. This songs chronicles some of the hardships they overcame on their great trip across the United States, through Bailey's eyes.
Rivers in the Dust
The sweat cuts rivers in the dust
On your face
While the wheels beneath complain
The wind still whistles through the haze
The sunshine is like a razor blade
And the bones of crops and banknotes
Pave the way
The highways are lined with graves
Like the fingernails of giants
Like blood pulled through a vein
We rush the west in silence
And I am not the one you wanted here
But I will fill my post
Heaven's touch is often out of reach
To those who want it most
You wear a rose from yesterday
Like the world is green and overgrown
And I wear a handkerchief around my mouth
To keep the dust and ashes out
I'd dream a glass of water
With you dreaming of the sea
And I'd watch my feet
And you would watch the sky
And we would wonder why
Our eyes no longer meet
It was hard to call the thing we saw a storm
Like it had climbed from the pages of some novel
And the sheets of dust hit everything
Like waves against the rocks
It was morning, but I'd be damned if I could tell
And you would hold my hand
And close your eyes
And I didn't mind
When hell bears its teeth
You learn your place
And this god-forsaken sun could be the moon
For all it provides
Eyes on the road
Before it disappears again
Everything Costs
This is another song that turned directly personal.
It was originally set to be the final song for Elsa and Sarah, from "Sisters", but I was the key witness in an abuse case against the people that raised me at that time. Watching all those dark details unravel took a hammer to all of my fictional narratives, and hiding my life in fiction just wasn't working anymore. It felt wrong, somehow.
It was strange watching one my oldest coping skills disappear, so I tried something different. I wrote from my own point of view instead.
Everything Costs
Dreams, like coins down a well
Until I realized I was dumb for believing
To the bird with no flight
The skies don't ever offer respite
So I wandered off
And went to fill the holes in my shadow
But everything costs
Proof was etched into the backs of my hands
I heard you say that you'd lost, you'd lost
You'd lost, you'd lost your way
But I don't think you had much to lose
That house was never built for you
And I ain't gonna hang my head for them
For them
And I ain't gonna let them
Paint the truth as sin
And I ain't gonna tell you it's okay
When at the end of the day
You were just something to blame
Face, pressed into your hands
Couldn't tell if you were crying or laughing
They both sound the same
When you ain't got no skin in the game
So I took up the fight
And the roaring in my head
Was like the thunder
Until I uncurled my fists
And allowed myself to not give a damn
I heard you say that we'd lost, we'd lost
We'd lost, we'd lost our way
But I don't think we had much to lose
That path was never built for us
And I ain't gonna hang my head for them
For them
And I ain't gonna let them
Paint the truth as sin
And I ain't gonna tell you it's okay
When at the end of the day
We were just something to blame
Midnight
In "Southern Snow", Gabriel mentions that his sister Annabel "walked into the woods and was never seen again." This is her song.
Annabel was born far stranger than anyone else in the family. As a young girl, she had a fascination with tasting things. She always said there was so much information in them, be it plants, meats or objects. She would sometimes taste, say, a piece of pork, and she'd tell people all about the pig's disposition, or what its favorite foods had been. As a little girl, this read as precocious and harmless. But she didn't outgrow it, and she increasingly leaned into tasting over talking. By the time she was ten, people no longer found it charming. Her immediate family didn't mind, but they also had no idea how to communicate with her.
What appeared as a sudden disappearance to her brother had actually been carefully planned for years. She was happiest alone, in nature, with no human drama to sift through. So she left to build a home amongst the trees.
She moved often. Once someone stumbled across a strange woman living in the woods, it was only a matter of time before the word "witch" was being thrown around. She had a good sense of when it was time to go, and she rarely lived in any patch of forest for more than a handful of years at a time.
This song follows a young boy named Cedric. He's dying of leukemia, and he could tell from the look his parents had around him that he didn't have long. He'd heard rumors of a witch in the nearby woods, one with odd powers. In a last ditch effort, he decides to seek her help.
To his shock, she reveals herself, hears his story, and after some deliberation, bites into his flesh and sucks the cancer from his blood. He is saved, but she must leave and find a new home, yet again, as a thank you for her good deed.
This song is told through Annabel's eyes.
Midnight
Your gut says turn away
And walk back the way you came
That these woods are not for those awake
I watch your feet
Step through the fallen leaves
And I hear your heart play it's broken beat
Then I smell the sickness you've got in you
And I understand the reason why you came to me
And I understand why you're not afraid
You called my name out
So I showed my face
And the birds in the nest of my hair
Started fluttering
And I held your wrists
Bound your hands up with vines
And told you to trust me
As though I were your enemy
And I sank my teeth into your ribs
And drew out the blood that had turned on you
And left you to find your way back home
And I told you to guard our new secret well
And to never try and find me again
Because the next time you step beyond your walls
I'll be gone
I'll be gone
I'll be gone
I'll be gone
The Ship in Port
Richard Applegate, from "Servants and Kings", also narrates this song.
His return from war was a difficult transition. He'd somehow escaped the shell shock he watched consume so many fellow soldiers, but his time abroad changed the way he viewed the world. His hometown felt so small, their viewpoints unbearably limited. But he was never one to rock the boat. Though it made him feel like an absolute coward, he fell right back in step with his old ways.
Outside of leaving for the war, he'd always done as he was told. The only thing he couldn't make himself bend toward was finding a wife. So he used the stories of war to fend off those particular pressures, but was otherwise obedient.
This song follows his internal dialogue as he meets another man, a musician named James, and they become lovers. Within the year they leave their small town together, heading north, telling everyone they met along the way that they were just relatives. That James was just helping out his cousin, since Richard was having trouble holding down a job after the war.
The story worked. They eventually settled off the coast of New York and lived together, quiet and content, for a very long time.
The Ship in Port
Some say our dreams are a distant road
Down which our hearts would like to go
But I have always stayed in place
Under that old illusion that it's safe
You said, "The ship in port is the safer one
But it's not the reason it was made"
So forgive me if I wander off
And forgive me more if I just stay
Sing another song for the lost ones
We're the ones who need it the most
Every time you run, it'll cost you
But it doesn't stop us running
If a coward dies a thousand times
Then there's a graveyard in my head
'Cause it took me years to say the words
That you did not even need said
Sing another for the lost ones
We're the ones that need it the most
Nothing that your fear is forgotten
It follows you around like ...
Then everything danced to a stranger tune
And we found our song, and we found our truth
Now that we know, it's that we always knew
Farewell to the chains we were born into
And as we danced among the ashes of our lives
We laughed it off
And then we burned our tiny worlds
And found the ocean
Just beyond those paper walls
Photograph
A short instrumental intermission.
I wrote this while I was sick. I had a fever and was passing the time while stuck on the couch by toying around with my parlor guitar. I recorded what I was playing with a small dictaphone, thinking it was just another demo.
It might have just been the fever, but this little back and forth pattern kept giving me a strong mental image. One of a woman tending a garden, in the orange glow of magic hour, perfectly content.
Third Family Portrait
Genevieve and Henry never made it to California in "West."
They settled down in Colorado, after their caravan was raided, and started a family.
Henry died of infection six years after their youngest son was born. He'd been working around the property when rusty nail gouged his knee. He'd always been slack about getting his shots and the tetanus proved fatal.
So, yet again, Genevieve found herself a widow. Only this time, she had three children to feed. She wasn't broken the way she'd been when Conor died, but she was tired in a way she had no words for.
One of her sons, Wyatt, narrates this song. It covers their journey from Colorado to the California coast.
Genevieve never marries again. But she loves her new home near the ocean, where she quietly raises her three boys and finally finds peace.
Third Family Portrait
It was the dead of winter
The cold was in our bones
And our shelves stood barren
As we had ever known
Saw our mother stand on the porch one evening
With a silent crack in her stony mask
She looked up at the sky, and said "please"
And by the turn of summer
We packed up all we owned
And with my mom and brothers
We started for the coast
And I would count all the clouds on the way
And you and I would name them
While the world around us changed
And I remember asking
If the place we're moving
Would have more food
And my mother grew
As distant as can be
And mouthed, "please"
Eyes, oh, tired eyes
Pay no mind
The river of time
Will drown these days out
It was the year just after
We stood and watched the sea
And my mom was smiling
No longer saying "please"
The Road to Nowhere
Before Abel's head injury, covered in the song "From the Mouth of an Injured Head", he'd fathered a son that he never met. Just like his own father.
His bastard was named Patrick, after the fake name Abel had given the girl on the night they met. He'd only been in town for a short stint and left without notice. The pregnancy proved devastating for her. At her family's insistence, she left her newborn son on the steps of the local orphanage.
Patrick was not treated well in his time there. When he was eleven years old, he'd had enough and decided a life on the streets would be preferable. Within six months he was collected by Atticus, The Gilded Hand.
He was one of the abnormal children that Atticus always sought, and he was the most intriguing. But what The Gilded Hand believed to be his finest prize proved to be his undoing.
Patrick, like his distant relative Abigail, was a sleepwalker. He would often wake to find messages written on the walls of his cell, in his own handwriting, and they always come true.
One morning he wakes to find The Gilded Hand dead at his feet, his tiny hands caked with blood. And by means he does not understand, he has broken the dark machine that the Gilded Hand was creating.
The Road to Nowhere
The lightning climbing up the walls
The finger drawings on the glass
The map of those who used to live here
'Til The Gilded Hand was broken
Often there's a voice in my sleeping mind
The words inside my skull at night
But once I wake, I cannot read them
My bloody hands remain a question mark
Sifting through the hiccups of time
While hiding in the bones of the city
The engines sing along with their cries
This song, it spells disaster
But it's buried beneath the laughter
The words that fall from out their mouths
Can chain your hands and split the skin
So I will keep myself apart
From shining eyes and privileged boredom
The thing that I've learned from unusual blood
Is never touch a person's comfort
The voice of change is often heard
When fear itself has come to visit
Sifting through the hiccups of time
While hiding in the bones of the city
The engines sing along with their cries
This song, it spells disaster
But we drown it out with laughter
And our eyes
They're always pointed at the sky
Looking for an answer
And our hands
They were stained and black and grey
Busy solving problems
And our backs will bear the load
Of all the things we'll never know
Until it breaks us
And in the comfort of the Earth
We will not wonder what we're worth
And we will sleep soundly
All on the road to nowhere
Old Gemini
Many decades after the events in "Severus and Stone", a woman named Leslie Corbin buys the abandoned home that Stone lived out his days within.
While gardening one quiet morning, her spade hits a metal box. It had been buried there by Stone, long before, while sleepwalking.
Leslie found the diary fascinating. She was a writer by trade and immediately transcribed the text with her typewriter. The child responsible for these words was far wiser than boys his age. His descriptions of his family and the nearby town were sharp and insightful. The final pages clearly showed that he knew he was dying, but was more concerned for his brother and mother than he was for himself. In his words:
"I thought that I'd be terrified, but it's worse to watch them watching."
Leslie became obsessed with the diary, and where it came from. She dug into the family's history, cobbling together their family tree with whatever records should could unearth. Though she got a lot of the details wrong and had to fill in the gaps with imagination, the project eventually turned into her bestselling novel.
Old Gemini
Evening in the garden
Surrounded by fireflies
We'd only just moved in
I spent my time alone there reading
And planted one thing a day
While shoveling the yard
My spade hit a metal box
And in it was a diary
The cover old and frayed
It said:
I don't know how much time I have
But I guess we never really do
I thought that I would be terrified
But it's worse to watch them watching
Sometimes, I wish our lives were simpler
That we never had to stretch the food
That people here would treat my brother well
And that he would know he's good
I laid out all those page
And in my study, typed them up
It was tough to say how old they were
I guess [ommitted] years, at least
The boy who wrote these words
Was an odd and complicated mind
But wisdom's often heavier
When found before its time
He said:
We all get stuck in circles
But nothing moves in perfect lines
Connections underlie the things we see
But to nuances, we're blind
I am never singular
I was born a pair but walk alone
My mirror shows the things I'm not
But he helps me feel at home
Bad Blood
The final song in the Family Tree series is my own.
There are many personal elements woven throughout this entire project, but I wrote this one at the very end. It was never attached to any characters or fictions.
So much of this series is about reconciling who we are with where we come from. For some, this is simple. They lucked up and were a good fit. Something about their nature slotted in with their environment. Or well enough. For the rest of us, there is no configuration that makes it work.
I was kicked out of my house as a young teenager after I was honest about my sexuality. I spent three nights in the tool shed behind the house, in winter, while they decided what to do with me. After barely sleeping due to the cold and the rats, I was told to leave. Everything I owned fit in a pillowcase.
Years later I reconnected, just before turning eighteen, and I did my best to fit in and help. For a time, I did. But in the end, everything all unraveled anyway, with something far worse than what was done to me. I don't regret trying to find my place there, and I don't begrudge myself for wanting a family. My teenage years were terrifying and lonely. Almost anything was better.
But I had a lot to accept when I wrote this. Like "Nightclothes", it's another song I will never play again.
It's hard to say how I feel about the closing of this project now, almost a decade later. But I was as honest as I could be in the moment. And perhaps that's enough.
Bad Blood
The hole in the floor boards
The cot near the front door
The moon was gone from sight
The world was dark as nightmares
You took all my fears
And you wrapped them in wonders
But there's no magic inside the moon
It's just a rock you can't reach
I was never the sharp knife
But I was never the dull mind
I was somewhere in between
A thorn and acquiescent
So you said it was for me
When you tried to break me
Well you can save your breath
I know I'm not the kind you pray for
Took a river of bad blood
But now I see where we came from
Can't grow a proper branch
When half the trunk is rotten
And you swore that it hurt you
While pushing your knife through
Well, you can save your breath
I know we're not the kind you pray for